Lab Humor

July 2021 @UCSB

NC (explaining to his undergrad): You know, you can use Mathematica to do the math for you, so you don't need to do it yourself. The best part is, the computer is always right.

JZ: The ONLY thing a computer can do is math; it'd better be good at it...

May 2021 @UCSB

IK: Do you know, why Thomas Hunt Morgan the fly scientist never sees the truth?

JZ: Why so?

IK: Because, every day when he goes to work, he walks into a cloud of flies.

May 2021 @UCSB

PC, SA and JZ are doing some tubulin purification today, the last step of which involves measuring the concentration with NanoDrop, but it has been giving results with huge fluctuations.

PC: I will accept the next round of measurements...

...

PC: If they are consistent.

JZ: Wait... I have heard it somewhere... Oh right, "I will accept the election results... if I win."


Jan. 2019 @UCSB

EK: This just means if the elevator is out of order, they will not try to fix it.

Jan. 2019 @UCSB

Q: From what animal can we harvest microtubule protein?

** Short Answer:

Cows and Pigs.

** Long Answer:

•Cattle: large ruminant animals with horns and cloven hoofs, domesticated for meat or milk, or as beasts of burden; cows.

•Bovine: an animal of the cattle group, which also includes buffaloes and bisons.

•Bull: a male bovine used for breeding.

•Cow: a female bovine that has had at least one calf.

•Calf: a young bovine animal.

•Steer: a male bovine animal that has been neutered.

•Heifer: a female bovine animal that has never had a calf.

--------------------------------------------------------

•Pig: an omnivorous domesticated hoofed mammal with sparse bristly hair and a flat snout for rooting in the soil, kept for its meat.

•Hog: a domesticated pig, especially one over 120 pounds and reared for slaughter.

•Porcine: of, affecting, or resembling a pig or pigs.

•Swine: a pig.

•Shoat: a young pig, especially one which is newly weaned.

Jan. 2019 @UCSB

HG, AT and JZ had lunch together in their ocean view lunch room. Their lunch conversation topics include how to eat brussels sprouts, how to control blood pressure and how to have a burial at sea, just like they are besties in a nursing home.

Jan. 2019 @UCSB

(We have an ocean view lunch room. Yeah, we do. And we could see the channel islands on a good day.)

AT: The resolution of the channel islands today is much better than usual!

Dec. 2018 @UCSB

Q: Why does ZD have three daughters?

A: Well, you know, you need to do the same experiment at least three times.

Nov. 2018 @UCSB

ZD considers himself as a microscopist. However, after decades into his independent career, he is more of a Skypist.

Nov. 2018 @UCSB

JZ: What computer do you think Trump uses?

AT: No idea. What?

JZ: It must be Mac because he hates PC.

Oct. 2018 @Goleta

JZ: At what time will Hooke's law not hold?

XD: emm... Let me see. Spring break must it be!

Oct. 2018 @UCSB

It's lunch time, but IK seems to find nobody around to lunch with.

IK: I have to ask Fermi's question: where is everybody?

Oct. 2018 @UCSB

JR in the lab has some Polish origin, and just finished her wonderful group meeting.

RB: How was it?

JR: It was good, but could be more polished.

JZ: Come on... You are the most Polished in the lab!

Oct. 2018 @UCSB

JZ: Everybody should go to Poland.

AT: Why?

JZ: If you come to America, you will be Americanized, so if you go to Poland, you will be more Polished!

July 2018 @UCSB

Over the lunch table.

RB: *^%#&#*$ some analysis #$#$%^....

JZ: Did you just say salmonellasis, which sounds like a disease caused by salmonella?

June 2018 @UCSB

Over the lunch table.

IK: I will give a presentation like this: as I say "the plot thickens", the plot thickens, on my slide.

March 2018 @UCSB

Itamar is a good name. Usually it is means "Isolate land with trees; palm island", but in our lab, it is a great toast: "Eatmore".

May 2018 @Goleta

XD: Are all Mousse cakes made of Chocolate?

JZ: Oh no. Mousse is defined by the texture, not the ingredients.

XD: What texture?

JZ: You know, a bit like cheesecake, but with smaller Young's modulus.

June 2018 @UCSB

Apparently, Prof. S. Napkins' cabinet is facing Prof. R. Sugar's mailbox.

Aug. 2017 @Ulsan

Derivative of a dinner conversation:

Mar. 2017 @New Orleans

Everyone is a physicist.

Jan. 2017 @CSLM

Thermophoresis of a researcher in a cold winter day.

Nov. 2016 @UNIST

The mountain is a nicely fitted curve with error bars.

Oct. 2016 @CSLM

HM: I was too concentrated that I forgot to have lunch!

WW: Then you probably should drink more water.

June 2016 @Urbana

You have to be named David to run.

Nov. 2012 @Urbana

Some nice Janus strawberries by Dip Lithography.